Peach Friedman
author, educator & trainer
intuitive fitness for women

recovery doesn’t mean perfection. it means honesty, preparedness, adaptability, flexibility, vulnerability, friendship. what do you think?

last night, in bed with my husband (i’ll spare you the juicy details!) i made a few less than loving comments about my body. they pretty much had to do with feeling un-sexy due to some bloating (oh, the realities of womanhood) and a bit antsy from lack of exercise since we moved.

caring husband jumped in with a worried comment or two. i thought about it. but here’s what i think.

it’s okay to feel yucky. it’s okay to wish i wasn’t bloated. it’s okay to want some exercise after about a month without (since we moved). none of these things means i have an eating disorder. none of these things mean i’m not recovered. they mean that i’m human. a woman, living in a breathing, feeling, sensing, ever-changing body.

part of recovery means listening to our bodies (this is a very large part of recovery, if you ask me) and my body last night was saying it didn’t feel great. i translated this to my husband through my emotions, “i don’t feel sexy.” this makes sense to me, as i believe in the psycho-somatic connection, and it doesn’t feel like an eating disordered leap.

in fact, the more i think about it, the more this event feels like a testament to my recovery. the old, eating disordered peach would not have shared these feelings with anyone. she would have buried them deep inside, cut calories, found a way to get in an extra workout. the eating disordered peach could not have gone a month without exercise! she would not be sharing her bed with her beloved! she would be incapable of softening to the point of allowing either of these things to happen.

when i speak about recovery, i tell people that being recovered does not mean i never have a negative thought about myself. but a negative thought is different from an eating disordered thought. an eating disordered thought is irrational, destructive, deceitful. a negative thought is destructive too, but hey, i’m human.

i want to make this distinction because i think it’s an important one. the peach of yesterday would have used her thoughts against her, found a way to hide from them through her behaviors. the peach of today (that’s me!) shares her feelings with her husband, and moves on. what more can you ask of a modern, evolving woman?