Peach Friedman
author, educator & trainer
intuitive fitness for women

Tune in for my interview with Jeanie Manchester and the Own It, Sister! team on December 28, 1pm PST!

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This time of year, I’m brimming with gratitude. The holidays used to stress me out, in fact, I remember wanting to avoid family situations, gift-giving, and decorating altogether. The year I lived in Boston, I went for a long solo run around the reservoir, spent a quiet Christmas day with my brother, and went home to my apartment to binge in privacy on cookies & peanut butter.

I look back on those lonely days and feel so immensely grateful for the full life that recovery has given me. My daughter is about to turn one and my home is filled with the scent of pine from my first Christmas tree as a married woman! There is so much to celebrate right now (including the winter solstice on Monday) that I can’t help but feel giddy.

Whether you have the extra cash to shop or not, it’s the perfect time of year to recognize your loved ones. In my yoga classes I’ve been inviting students to use their breath to send well-wishes to friends and family. The power of thought and intention can make a difference. Smile, reach out, offer a hug or a hand. And not just to your co-workers or your parents, but to yourself, too.

From my heart to yours, I offer you love and fulfillment this holiday season.

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I’ll be reading from my book Diary of an Exercise Addict on December 19, 6:30pm, at Asha Yoga in Sacramento. Hope you can make it!

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my book, Diary of an Exercise Addict was just released in paperback. i love the new cover. check it out!

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it is november, after all…

1. jeffrey & victoria. we are messy, but we make it work.
2. teaching my 6am classes at asha yoga. i know it might sound crazy, but it’s a blessing to start my day this way. even when it means leaving my house in the dark after only a few hours of sleep!
3. my dear, old friend anna. i love you.
4. my new pair of cowboy boots!
5. cool, refreshing autumn air. perfect for walking. thank you, sacramento, for finally rewarding us after the long hot summer.

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My mom is in town visiting this week. I’ve re-written that sentence a few times already, because it doesn’t really feel like she’s visiting. When my mom comes to town, we don’t go out to eat or visit museums or drive to Napa. Instead, we nest.

Now that I’m a mom myself, I need my mother more than ever. The constant selfless giving that comes from mothering does inherently give back, in the breathless, giggly smiles coming from my sweet Victoria’s plump pink cheeks when she looks at me, and nothing is sweeter than that, to be sure. But I never realize quite how depleted & strung out I am until my own in-the-flesh mother comes to the rescue.

Projects that I don’t have the time or energy for during my day to day have finally been tackled, under my mother’s wing, and I’m happy to say my closet is half as full as it was last week (and what’s left are the clothes I actually like, without holes, armpit stains, and that fit properly). Victoria’s wardrobe got an overhaul too, and we folded the tiny t-shirts and onesies she’s grown out of, tucked away in case we ever decide to risk it for baby #2(!).

Cleaning closets might not sound fun to everyone, but I can’t imagine a more nurturing way of spending time with my mom. Creating openness and accessibility in my home feels, literally, refreshing. And invigorating. And makes me happy to climb into bed at night in my stripey jammies, knowing everything is in place and my mom’s hands were there to help.

Beyond cleaning out and de-cluttering, we’ve also been cooking. After watching Julie & Julia, we decided to make boeuf bourguignon. My mother took classes at Le Cordon Bleu herself when she was young, and knows much more than I do about french cooking. So, I acted as her assistant, swigging a few sips of red wine straight from the bottle as we chopped and browned and simmered and…eventually ate.

Here we are at cooking school in Florence this summer:

My mom can’t stay forever, as she has her own life (and work) back home, but I intend to carry some of her inspiration and creativity with me when she goes. At least enough to tide me over until our next visit!

Even as I write this, I know that the real trick is learning to mother myself, while I act as a mother for my own daughter. How do you manage to be your own mom?

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Most days I nag him: Oh my heavens, what would it take for your to put your shoes away just once?? And other days I whisper with girlfriends on long walks or cell phone chats about how men just don’t get it and they never will…

But the fact is, I married this guy for a reason and I would like to tell the world (or the small fraction of the world that looks at this blog) that I love him. Like, a lot.

This month three years ago he wrote me an email:
From: Jeffrey Dumars
Date: October 10, 2006 3:46:27 PM PDT
Subject: Re: hi
To: Peach Friedman

good for you peach-e. you’re happiness brings me happiness.
i’m sure it will pull together for you.
glad you’re coming back to Sac this weekend. what else would you like to do this weekend?

It’s a simple email (complete with spelling errors) but it reminds me of that rush I felt when we were first dating, the rush I’d feel every time an email from him lit up my inbox. I was living in Palo Alto; he was in Sacramento, and we’d travel between our cities every other weekend or so to run around the great state of California hiking, skiing, playing tennis, eating at fabulous restaurants and making lots of noise. When we weren’t galavanting around this state, we were jetting up to Portland, or back east to Virginia. Jeffrey documented much of that year and four months of our courtship (pre-engagement) in photographs.

We were goofy, carefree, and falling in love. No real expectations yet, thus no real let downs yet. No financial stress, no sleeplessness (except the blissed-out pre-skiing nights, but those were self-induced) or baby worries.

That stage of life is gone. My twenties spent dating and blowing all my money on weekend trips and clothes–gone. And what we have now might look a lot different (I’m far less blonde and use eye cream now, plus everywhere we go we tote around a 23-pound, smiley, drooling baby), but beneath all the surface changes, somewhere in there we’re still Peach & Jeffrey, traipsing around the state (or globe, as we did this summer). There’s new stresses, we sometimes feel tied down, and we can’t fly by the seat of our pants quite as often, but still…I love our little life.

Plus, he’s a good dad.

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this is just how it appears on my recipe card:

PUMPKIN MUFFINS
2 eggs
1 c sugar
1/2 can pumpkin
1/2 cup oil
1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice (cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg)
1 teaspoon soda
1/2 teaspoon powder
pinch salt
1 cup choc chips
1 2/3 cup flour
15-20 min at 400 preheated
Mom says you put everything in together and then mix it…don’t over mix. And it’s good to sprinkle granulated sugar on top just before you put them in the oven!!

i usually double the recipe because it calls for 1/2 can so it’s simple to make a batch x2. also i actually HALF the amount of chocolate chips because, as much as i love chocolate, i like the pumpkin flavor and i thought this recipe had too many chips. so for me that usually looks like doubling the recipe but keeping the choc chip amount the same.

anyway, they’re yummy, & i’m eating one right now!

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I dropped my daughter off at a friend’s house the other day so that I could jet over to teach my afternoon group at Summit, and another friend of ours was there too, chatting away about how she had bought a whole bunch of books to give to her friends (such a sweetie and what a good idea, by the way!). So she scampered out to her car to hand off a copy of Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Voice of Knowledge.

I sat in the parking lot and read the inside flap. It goes like this:

Before we learn to speak, our true nature is to love and be happy, to explore and enjoy life. As little children, we are completely authentic. Our actions are guided by instinct and emotions, we listen to the silent voice of our integrity. Once we learn to speak, the people around us hook our attention and program us with knowledge. But that knowledge is contaminated with lies. With our attention focused on all the knowledge in our head, we no longer perceive the world through the eyes of love; we only perceive what we have learned to believe. The voice of knowledge comes alive inside our head, and what is that voice telling us? … That voice never stops talking, judging, gossiping and abusing us. It constantly sabotages our happiness and keeps us from enjoying a reality of truth and love … When the voice of knowledge no longer controls us, our life becomes an expression of our authentic self, just as it was before we learned to speak. Then we return to the truth, we return to love and we live in happiness again.

I’m a busy mom (which will be my eternal excuse from here on out but I swear it’s for real–I only have one baby and I only work part-time but I have never been so frazzled in all my life) and I haven’t gotten past the flap. I haven’t even read the first page. But that said, I did get something from the little message I transcribed above, and in fact I think it’s such a good recovery positive message that I read it aloud to all my groups and a couple of my yoga classes this week.

I don’t struggle specifically with anorexia or compulsive exercise anymore, but I am a human being and I do have crappy days. Lately the voice of knowledge has been telling me that I should be making more money, publishing a second book, doing more cool mommy things like taking my daughter on lots of play dates and making crafty mom type things, doing my hair & wearing makeup, and living in a much, much cuter house. With nice furniture. And things, like, art, hanging on the walls.

The thing is, I’m so programmed by what Ruiz calls the voice of knowledge that I don’t really think these are even lies–I think I really should be doing these things. Welcome guilt, failure, fatigue, etc.

So today I am thinking, hmm. If rather than trying to do all these things that I’m not doing now, I can instead put more passionate energy toward what I am doing, then maybe I’ll transform some of that negativity into creative juiciness. I’ll still have an un-cute home and messy hair, but maybe I won’t feel so crappy.

On that note, I just made my favorite fall chocolate-chip pumpkin muffins and that is certainly cheering me up. Whether it’s knowledge-based or not, my inner voice says YUM.

What do you think?

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Join myself and my dear friend & colleague, Sara Avant Stover, for an exclusive FREE call on Tuesday, 6pm Pacific (that’s 9pm for y’all back east!). This teleseminar is for women only…learn to fully embrace and love your body!

Details & registration are here.

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