Peach Friedman
author, educator & trainer
intuitive fitness for women

when i found out i was pregnant with my precious little girl, i felt like i got the wind knocked out of me. i was (brand!) newly married, getting ready for the publication of my book, and had just begun a 200-hour yoga teacher training program. i wanted a baby, soonish, just not now.

despite being mentally and emotionally sort of unprepared, i think most of my resistance was out of the fear of losing myself. like, the peach as i knew it was going to change forever, and that scared me. so instead of surrendering to the natural state of pregnancy, which asks our bodies to slow down, pare back, and rest more, i fought tooth and nail to keep up with my full-time job at summit, continue with my power vinyasa yoga practice, and put forth every possible ounce of energy toward publicity and marketing for my book.

you might read this and think: well good! pregnancy doesn’t mean you have to give up your life. and of course, that is true. but it’s also kind of false, because with motherhood comes such enormous change that the face of your life really is forever altered. and some tender, loving preparation for this change is certainly useful.

but what’s also true is that this world in which we live values productivity, efficiency, hard work, and hard results more than it values tenderness, rest, surrender, and vulnerability. women who continue maintaining their rigorous exercise regimens, managing demanding schedules, and otherwise keeping up with the joneses during pregnancy are applauded by most people around them. wow, she is amazing! she only gained 20 pounds her whole pregnancy and never missed a day of work!

this go round, i’m approaching my sacred mothering time differently. in 2008, i suffered from prenatal and postpartum depression. i kept up my work schedule, and i powered through vigorous yoga classes in a hot room. i woke up at 5am to do my hair for every television appearance i could book to talk up diary and, my when my daughter was born six weeks early, i was utterly unprepared.

i fooled myself. i thought i prepared. we took a natural childbirth class and practiced hee hee hoo. i thought i was “listening to my body” as recovery taught me because i ate potato chips and chicken fingers and napped in the afternoon. but i wasn’t listening to my baby’s body. and i wasn’t listening to the voice of motherhood that was trying to emerge. i ignored advice to take a prenatal yoga class or at least mix-up my power vinyasa with a restorative home practice. i didn’t do a single kegel and disregarded suggestions about proper nutrition for my little fetus.

when labor hit, i was too scared and polite to tell the pushy nurse i didn’t want an epidural. the next day, when i was pumping milk for my little girl in the nicu, i did have the self-care instinct to email a handful of girlfriends and ask for a list of things i needed, but i realized in that moment that i had not set up a real support network for this transition. and at home, after my mom left, when sleepless nights were the norm and my hormones were raging, the storm of my fears kept sweeping the stronger peach under. my husband, who did everything a husband should do, was there for me but could not possibly fill all the roles i needed. i needed girlfriends, mama friends, healer friends, and my husband.

of course, the clouds did lift and i got the hang of it. my daughter taught me what to do. babies are wise beyond their sweet, short days, and they teach a willing mama everything she needs to know. but the transition was challenging for me, and i swore initially that i’d never have another baby again. and then i swore that when i did have another baby, i’d do it differently from day one.

and i have. thanks to the recommendation of a wise friend i have gurmukh’s book bountiful, blissful, beautiful as my bedside companion. i’m saying “no” to events that make my schedule too busy, and i’m hiring a doula for support through pregnancy and labor. i’m deep into my prenatal yoga practice, and seeing a chiropractor weekly to help with my pregnancy headaches. i’m kegeling (when i remember) and practicing prenatal meditations (when i find a quiet moment). i’m listening to peaceful music, eating lots of vegetables, drinking plenty of water, and asking for help when i need it.

i’m enjoying deep, full, slow breaths at random times throughout the day. i’m looking in the mirror as my body changes and making lists of reasons to love my softening flesh and growing shape. i’m not doing everything perfectly, but i am living this pregnancy with intention, acceptance, comfort, and surrender. the intention to care for my body and my baby’s body (and my toddler) above all else. the acceptance of the hardships that come along with pregnancy, and the acceptance of my mistakes along the way. the comfort of a doula’s support and gurmukh’s book. the surrender of the process of growing older and more womanly.

teaching prenatal yoga this year helps is also helping tremendously. have you heard the saying we teach what we most need to learn? that’s me! i love being surrounded by mamas in various stages of motherhood, and encouraging us all to take a moment to pause, breathe, and be. for our sake, and our babies.

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that’s what it sounds like when my toddler says “new house!” excitedly every time we pull in the driveway. i have to say, it’s a weird realization when you’re 31 and all your dreams have come true.

i’m counting my blessings!
married to a sexy, amazing man – check
wrote and published a book – check
raising a beautiful, rambunctious toddler with another one on the way – check
teaching yoga to pregnant mamas and lots of other folks – check
living in the southeast – check

i think i need to start dreaming bigger. or, smile more. life is amazingly delicious!

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mothering is so different from before mothering. i can sit around and mourn the loss of all things freedom, or i can count my blessings that i have, well, everything i have. such as…

1. an extremely verbal and expressive toddler (reminds me of me!) who impresses me daily with new words and sentences and understanding.
2. the opportunity to practice yoga in every act of mothering (patience, non-judgment, gratitude) even when, or especially when i’m challenged.
3. bonding with other moms. no such coming together of women has ever compared to the bonds of motherhood!!! a transformation worthy of serious girl gab sessions.
4. a cuddle more satisfying than cuddling has ever been before. my little one, my lap, a stack of madeline books and a sippy cup of milk!
5. a gracious, grateful husband who tells me daily that my growing, pregnant body is beautiful, and that i’m doing a great job (with a straight face, even when the house is chaos and i serve beans and rice for dinner!).

when i dream about freedom, it’s usually yoga. i feel jealous of my friends with more time or more money, jet-setting to trainings and workshops in mexico, or los angeles, or asia. i wish that i could get away alone for a week to study with a renowned teacher and eat freshly prepared vegetarian food and go to sleep early and meditate early and sit outside looking at the stars…ahh, retreat, retreat, retreat.

but my reality is that i have so much abundance in my life here, as mama, that getting away wouldn’t serve my family. right now, my practice is in mothering. my practice is in keeping home. much of yoga is based in seva, or selfless service. i am serving my family, with intention and care and kindness (when i remember).

so, today’s reminder: a yoga practice is a discipline. it isn’t always about luxurious trips or self-indulgent asana practice. it’s about finding a way to practice no matter the challenge; it’s about facing the challenge and finding the light despite how frustrating or overwhelming. believe it or not, i’m grateful for that.

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i took a break from blogging this summer to focus on my personal life–we’re buying a house (hope to close and move in just a couple of weeks!) and i’ve been struck during these hot, muggy months with the kind of fatigue that can only mean one thing…

there’s another baby on the way! and my body’s changing again. big time. this one’s due in march, and i hope to keep him/her in there until at least close to that date (my first babe was born 6 weeks and 1 day early, eek!). my little family is celebrating this change…and so is my body. growing family, growing mama!

this go round, to document my pregnancy, my hubby is shooting photos of me in some of my favorite yoga poses.

five weeks

six weeks

nine weeks

twelve weeks

and that brings us up to date! the gaps in weeks are due to such morning sickness and exhaustion that the thought of getting dressed, let alone assuming natarajasana, were out of the question!

as my energy is slowly making a come back, i hope to be blogging somewhat regularly again, with fun photo updates as my belly grows and life continues to keep moving forward.

xoxo!

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oops, there’s been a delay in posts due to some unresolved technical difficulties with my website. but it’s also not a bad opportunity for me to take the summer off and enjoy time with my family. there’s lots in flux here (we’re moving! and more…) and i’ll be back in touch in the fall with details and updates. love! peach

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i’m teaching prenatal yoga on saturday mornings at mamunchis, a darling mommy/baby shop focused on organic, sustainable products that also offers about a dozen classes for expectant families and little ones.

first of all, i love mamunchis, and if you’re ever in the auburn area (mamunchis is actually in opelika, al) you have to stop by and check out their products. i literally can’t wait to get pregnant again just to adorn myself with some of their goods. silly!? i think not…just…girly, i guess!

anyway, i adore teaching prenatal yoga. in part because i get to hang out with beautiful, glowing moms-to-be, but also because it reminds me every week how truly special it is to be a woman. our ability to carry a child isn’t really unique, i guess, because animals from donkeys to kitty cats (one of my daughter’s favorites) do it too. but still, what a miracle.

when we’re pregnant, our bodies change really beyond our control. and for someone with a history like mine, i can’t learn that valuable lesson too many times. prenatal yoga has dozens of benefits (literally), but the three i want to highlight are…

1) take some time to appreciate your changing body.
moms-to-be spend plenty of time complaining of a whole array of physical discomforts, but how often do we stop, take a deep breath, and acknowledge the beauty of what’s going on in there? and even if we do, it may be for a fleeting moment. a prenatal yoga class puts us in a setting with other moms where we can quiet down as a group, take a few deep breaths, and spend the hour fully aware of our bodies as they grow and change.

2) make pregnancy more comfortable!
because the reality is, most of us have morning sickness & fatigue followed by a brief respite before the heartburn, constant need to pee, downward pressure, sciatica, and shortness of breath set in. prenatal yoga moves and stretches our body in ways that make more room for baby, release muscular tension in the low back and hips (relieving sciatica), increase circulation through the entire body, and otherwise ‘un-tweak’ some of those spots that have become a little iffy.

3) help prepare for labor.
whether you’re aiming for a totally natural birth, or you have a planned c-section, prenatal yoga helps ready you for the big day. postures like malasana help open the hips, while other poses help strengthen leg muscles (good for pushing!) and breathing exercises help hone our focusing skills for when we the going gets tough in the birthing room and we need to stay calm. even if you end up with a spinal and a c-section, it’s useful to keep the body supple and strong so that recovery is that much smoother.

whether you join me at mamunchis or find your way to another prenatal class, i hope any of my expectant moms out there will find a good reason to get a little yoga on with baby on board…!

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i just wanted to take a minute to remind my readers that five minutes of movement is often better than no movement at all, and in many cases also better than an hour and a half of movement.

want me to explain?

for a long time i worked with an exceptional group of women who were in recovery from binge eating disorder. my job was to help support and encourage them as they cultivated balanced and pleasurable relationships with movement. we spent a good deal of time un-learning the “all or nothing” behavioral patterns some of them experienced when it came to exercise. they felt like if they didn’t put in 30 (or 60, or 90) minutes of sweat-inducing cardio at an actual health club or exercise facility, then it just didn’t matter or didn’t count. i was there to happily prove them wrong.

stand up. start your watch. and spend five minutes moving through some luxurious stretching routine. it can be simple (forward fold, roll up slowly, gentle standing twists, reach for the sky, sit back down, cross your left ankle over your right knee…feel the hip stretch…switch…a few ankle rolls, gentle neck rolls, and back to work). now tell me this: do you feel, in any way, different than you felt five minutes ago?

we did this together when i worked with my girls (i miss them!) and they always remarked and how surprised they were to discover that a mere five minutes really does count! there are many reasons to exercise, and the benefits are by the dozen. find what feels good, seek out a few spare minutes, and change your whole mood/chemistry/outlook (and maybe relax that neck pain for a bit).

i’m reminded of this today, as i’m closing down a couple of solid weeks of family and friend filled fun: a whirlwind and exciting trip to munich, a party in honor of my daughter’s baptism, my parents in town for that event and a dear, dear old friend here for a decadent week of girly things. it’s been divine, and i haven’t done any yoga. and i miss it. so, in about two minutes i’m going to take the cookies out of the oven (yes, i’m still baking these) and go take five minutes in my bedroom to downward dog it out. i know five minutes is all i need to feel empowered, alive, and at peace.

ahhh.

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article about exercise bulimia, me, and my book in breathe magazine

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Alabama is so pretty in the springtime.

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it’s my tagline; it’s what i claim i teach. i mentioned it in my recent post about michael pollan and after some inquiries for more, thought i’d share some of my thoughts with you!

many of us who have been through treatment or who work with eating disorders know what intuitive eating is. it’s the oft-written about practice of listening to and honoring the body’s hunger & fullness signs. how do i know when to eat? when you’re hungry! how do i know what to eat? what you crave! when do i stop eating? when you’re sated! so simple, but for many of us (not just those struggling with eating disorders) our hunger signals get lost in a jumble of thoughts, fears, emotions, and food rules. but i can’t eat now, it’s not six o’clock yet! and i can’t eat that sandwich, i’m on a no-bread diet! and if i take one bite i’ll want to eat the whole house!

eventually, through the practice (and, i’ve told you before, it is a practice) of body awareness, intuitive eating becomes a natural, balanced, and ingrained way of relating to your food. yay for happy meals (even if the ones i’m talking about don’t come with a little plastic toy)!

intuitive fitness works much the same way. it’s a misunderstanding (and a common one) to think that to be fit you need to push yourself through grueling workouts. it’s a misunderstanding to believe that being in shape means you run every day or can do 100 push-ups (of course, if you can do these things, and enjoy these things, there’s nothing wrong with that either!).

take a moment and ask yourself this question:
what sort of movement activities feel good to my body?
maybe even make a short list.
it might be that you genuinely love really tough workouts–there’s nothing wrong with that if you do! but if you love to swing dance, or take your dog on walks, or play in the pool with your kids, then let yourself define these activities as exercise too. and do them. when it feels good.

if we truly listen to our bodies, they indeed want to move. and if we are open to allowing them to move in the ways that feel good to us rather than what we think should feel good, we truly free-up a part of ourselves. that permissiveness is key in recovery.

and just like with intuitive eating, when we are really in tune with our bodies, we will find a balanced relationship with movement. because sitting on the couch all day every day does not, in fact, feel good. if we did this, we would suffer from low-energy, joint pain, and other ailments. likewise, constantly moving at a break-neck pace would result in overuse injuries, exhaustion, and so on. but every single body is different. every single body has different needs. your friends might do cross-fit or practice yoga or run marathons, and you might compare yourself to them, thinking you’re not doing something right because you like tennis. well, tennis, of course, is just fine. anything is fine that feels good. that you respond well to.

movement is important for overall health. so is enjoying the movement!

i’ll share this with you as an example. when i was sick, i ran. if you read my book then you already know that. i thought i liked running. at least, i liked the feeling after i ran, the feeling that it was done, and i had done it, and i didn’t have to do it again for 24 hours. but i rarely truly enjoyed it while i was actually doing it! in recovery, i discovered that i do, in fact, love to walk and to hike. i also love love love yoga (you already know this!). so now, i do these two things most of the time. and most days, i do one or the other of them. not because i feel like i have to, but because i feel so good when i do!

but that does not mean that i never run. because sometimes, i feel like it. and then i do it. does that sound overly simplified?

we talk in black and whites a lot. people will ask “do you run?” but, how do you even answer that question? well, i’m not running right now, i’m standing here in heels at this cocktail party talking to you. i have run before. i run sometimes. sometimes i don’t. the question is posed almost as if we define ourselves through these activities. do. you. run?

my answer is, when i feel like it. no limits, no rules, no self-defining moments. a forever changing woman with forever changing needs & desires. self-regulating. what a relief!

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